Jehoram, King of Judah and lessons on raising children

Not to be confused with the other Jehoram, King of Israel, King Jehoram of Judah was the oldest son of King Jehoshaphat of Judah. Jehoram was 32 when he took the kingdom, and he reigned eight years. Before he became king, he had married Athaliah, the daughter of Israel's King Ahab. Athaliah was evil, brought up by Ahab and Jezebel, and she greatly influenced Jehoram to reject the Lord. He murdered all of his brothers and many of the top leaders, just in case they had any thoughts of overthrowing him. But God had made His covenant with David, and therefore would not utterly destroy his descendants (2King 8:16-24). Jehoram's father (Jehoshaphat) and grandfather (Asa) both followed the Lord during their reign. Why did Jehoram turn out the way he did? This seems to be a recurrent theme in scripture. Good parents don't always produce good children. I am not referring to whether godly parents will always produce godly children. I am simply thinking of characters of the children. Did the parents do something wrong? Did they not follow the wisdom of scripture on how to raise children? Or does scripture provide sufficient tips of raising children?

Openbible.info quoted 29 biblical references on raising children. These are some of the the main themes:

(1) Teach your children God's word:

• "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." (Deuteronomy 6:7)
• "But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work." (2 Timothy 3:14-17)

(2) Discipline your children (which some have wrongly used to justify corporal punishment):

• Verses on physical punishment come primarily from Proverbs - "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die." (Proverbs 23:13); "Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him." (Proverbs 13:24)
• Discipline can involve the body of believers - “If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear." (Deuteronomy 21:18-21). This had to be a very serious situation, i.e. the son must have committed a very serious crime. 
• Discipline should be guided by love in obedience to God's commands -  "Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death." (Proverbs 19:18); "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4); "Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged." (Colossians 3:21)

(3) Love them the way Jesus did, for children are gifts from God!

• But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 19:14)
• "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate." (Psalm 127:3-5)

(4) Provide for them and pray for them:

• "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." (1Timothy 5:8)
• "For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. Therefore I have lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there." (1Samuel 1:27-28)

But there is no guarantee. The problem is the same as the problem of evil and suffering. God loves us too much to restrict our freedom to choose - and like our own children, we make wrong choices. But I do believe that God is sovereign. He will intervene from time to time to bring about salvation to those He loves - especially our own children. And just as he was faithful to King David (He did not destroy Judah even though Jehoram was such an evil king) He will keep His promises to me also.