For you, that would be wisdom.
Job 13:5
“I have heard many things like these;
you are miserable comforters, all of you!
Job 16:2
I am studying through the book of Job this week. I am focusing my attention on Job's three friends. They meant well. But what they said to Job was not exactly helpful. Let me see if I can learn from this.
When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.
Job 2:11-13
So these friends did feel Job's pain. They had taken great trouble to come to comfort him (see the Wikipedia references on each of these friends below). They demonstrated compassion (see my previous blog "Meaning of healing" on this). But unfortunately when they tried to explain to Job what they understood as to the reason of Job's suffering, it backfired.
Eliphaz the Temanite started well by encouraging Job that he had done well and that his life had been a blessing to many.
Think how you have instructed many,
how you have strengthened feeble hands.
Your words have supported those who stumbled;
you have strengthened faltering knees.
But now trouble comes to you, and you are discouraged;
it strikes you, and you are dismayed.
Should not your piety be your confidence
and your blameless ways your hope?
Job 4:3-6
But he pointed out to Job that no man was perfect: "Can a mortal be more righteous than God?
Can even a strong man be more pure than his Maker?"( Job 4:17) and that his suffering could only be explained by God's discipline which was meant to be for his own good:
“Blessed is the one whom God corrects;
so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.
For he wounds, but he also binds up;
he injures, but his hands also heal.
Job 5:17-18
There are equivalent New Testament verses for these same concepts:
"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23)
"because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son" (Hebrews 12:6)
So Eliphaz was not exactly wrong. It was just that pointing it out to someone in the midst of his pain was not exactly helpful. It generated resentment and more pain! “If only my anguish could be weighed and all my misery be placed on the scales!" (Job 6:2)
Bildad obviously reacted to Job's ungrateful response to Eliphaz's well meaning and rather gentle admonition. He meant to console but he became an accuser.
“How long will you say such things?
Your words are a blustering wind.
Does God pervert justice?
Does the Almighty pervert what is right?
Job 8:2-3
He admonished Job that if only he would get right with God, God will bless him again.
“Surely God does not reject one who is blameless
or strengthen the hands of evildoers.
He will yet fill your mouth with laughter
and your lips with shouts of joy.
Your enemies will be clothed in shame,
and the tents of the wicked will be no more.”
Job 8:20-22
Job was not unaware of these. He was just frustrated: “Indeed, I know that this is true.
But how can mere mortals prove their innocence before God?" (Job 9:2)
Although Zophar spoke only twice to Job, he was the most impetuous and dogmatic of the three. He was the first to accuse Job directly of wickedness: “Are all these words to go unanswered? Is this talker to be vindicated?" (Job 11:2). He even suggested that perhaps God's punishment was too good for him:
Oh, how I wish that God would speak,
that he would open his lips against you
and disclose to you the secrets of wisdom,
for true wisdom has two sides.
Know this: God has even forgotten some of your sin.
Job 11:5-6
He rebuked Job's impious presumption in trying to find out the unsearchable secrets of God (Job 11:7 - 12); and yet, like the rest of the friends, promised peace and restoration on condition of penitence and putting away iniquity (Job 11:13 - 19).
That didn't go well with Job!!!
So what do I learn from all this:
- It is important to spend time with my friend in pain.
- Know that sometimes my friend in pain is not ignorant of the basic truth about God's righteousness and justice. It is not time for a sermon!
- Staying positive is good. When appropriate to speak, often when prompted by my friend's question about the meaning of suffering, acknowledge the limitation of our understanding of God's compassion and love but encourage to remain hopeful knowing that God really does love us.
- Remember some of the favorite verses of promise in the Bible. Romans 8 is definitely my favorite on this topic.
- But mostly, silence can be golden (and wisdom!) (Job 13:5)
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