Always be afraid of being afraid

This comes from the famous preacher Charles Spurgeon's commentary on 1 Samuel 27:1. The context is that David had become tired of being chased and hunted by King Saul. So in 1 Samuel 17:1 it was recorded that "But David thought to himself, “One of these days I will be destroyed by the hand of Saul. The best thing I can do is to escape to the land of the Philistines. Then Saul will give up searching for me anywhere in Israel, and I will slip out of his hand.”.  The verse began with "But" - which followed a rather miraculous and courageous event where David had the opportunity to kill Saul, but instead he followed God's command and found himself doing a very noble thing (see 1 Samuel 26). Even his enemy Saul saw this as evidence that David was God's blessed one: "May you be blessed, David my son; you will do great things and surely triumph." (1 Samuel 26:25)

So why did David become afraid? Hasn't he not seen God's mighty hand protecting him through all these years? Isn't this the same David who fought the giant Goliath and said these famous words: "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands." (1 Samuel 17:45-47)

It might have begun rather insidiously with many little "thought to himself" (or "says in his heart" in other translations). Living out as fugitive for this long had taken its toll. In David Guzik's commentary, he explained: If someone says in their heart, "God doesn't care about me," it will make a difference in their life. If someone says in their heart, "I deserve better than this," it will make a difference in their life. If someone says in their heart, "I come before others," it will make a difference in their life. By the same principle, if someone says in their heart, "God loves me and I don't have to earn His love," it will make a difference. If they say in their heart, "I am grateful for every blessing I have," it will make a difference. If someone says, "Others come first," it will make difference in their life. What we say in our heart has great power for good or evil, for blessing or cursing.

So controlling our thought life is an important discipline. I have been teaching patients to do Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and yet I myself fall victim to bad thinking all the time. I should spend regular time reflecting on why I am feeling down. What thinking may have contributed to it?

Note David's "thought to himself" led to some seriously wrong conclusion:
(1) "One of these days I will be destroyed by the hand of Saul" - what is the evidence that this will ever happen? He had at least two opportunities to kill Saul and not vice versa!
(2) "The best thing I can do..." - there must be at least 3 major errors in this short little phrase. It's certainly not "the best thing". Compared to what? "I" can do - where is God in this? "do" - why not wait for the Lord?
(3) "escape to the land of the Philistines" - what?! Leaving the land of promise among God's people to run to the enemy? I have seen this happen many times unfortunately. People leaving their faith and the church community because they have been disappointed with God and living lives opposite to God's promises.

O I hope I can learn from this. 

"Always be afraid of being afraid. Failing faith means failing strength. Do not regard despondency as merely a loss of joy, view it as draining away your spiritual life. Struggle against it, for it often happens that when faith ebbs sin comes to the flood. He who does not comfortably trust God will soon seek after comfort somewhere else." (Spurgeon)